


Not the Smartest Cookies in the Crayon Box

by roxashighwind



Series: Lactose Intolerant Blaine 'Verse [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, lactose intolerant!Blaine, severe lactose intolerance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-27
Updated: 2013-04-27
Packaged: 2017-12-09 15:53:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/776008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roxashighwind/pseuds/roxashighwind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It takes Finn a little while to see what's right in front of him, and Blaine gets sick because he's too freaking polite.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not the Smartest Cookies in the Crayon Box

**Author's Note:**

> Title is meant to be weird because both Finn and Blaine are kind of dumb.

It takes a while for Finn to catch on.  
  
Finn roots around in the fridge, looking for something - anything - to eat. Puck's behind him, lounging against the butcher-block island and debating the bowl of fruit on the table.  
  
"Dude. Is everything here healthy now? I'm glad your mom's happy with Burt and everything but I miss the junk food." Puck pushes the bowl a little further away from himself, disgusted.  
  
"Kurt's pretty strict about Burt's diet and Mom goes along with it. Carton of milk, score!" Finn snags the blue carton without really looking at it, unscrews the lid on the side. He takes a swig and promptly rushes to the sink to spit it out. "What the hell is that?! Tastes like it's gone bad or somethin'."  
  
Puck moves around the island to grab the carton from where Finn dropped it on the counter next to the sink. "It hasn't gone bad, dumbass. It's soy milk." He rolls his eyes and puts it back in the fridge. "Learn to read shit before taking drinks."  
  
"Shut up. Why is that even in there? And how the hell do you even get milk from soy?" Finn pulls a cup from a cabinet and turns on the faucet, drinks a glass of water and then another, trying to get the taste of soy milk out of his mouth.  
  
Puck laughs and reaches up to tug on part of his mohawk. "No clue." He finally gives up and grabs an apple from the bowl, biting into it sharply. He chews loudly and Kurt smacks the back of his head as he enters the kitchen.  
  
"Chew with your mouth closed, Puckerman." Kurt goes to the fridge and removes the carton of Very Vanilla Silk and retrieves a glass from the cupboard above the sink. He eyes Finn, who's staring. "What?"  
  
"Since when do you drink soy milk?" Finn gulps another glass of water.  
  
Kurt arches a brow. "I've had a container of Silk in the fridge at all times for a few months now Finn, where have you been?" He rolled his eyes and headed out of the kitchen. "Blaine and I are watching South Pacific in my room." He looks at Finn and Puck, daring them to say something about it.  
  
"Cool. We're gonna play Halo." Finn finally settles on snagging a soda from the fridge and a bag of chips that had been shoved to the very back of one of the highest cupboards. A guy needs his unhealthy snacks.  
  
"Don't do anything I wouldn't," Puck laughs as Kurt's heading out of the kitchen.  
  
Kurt just laughs and waves him off as he leaves. He has no intention of drinking the soy milk, but they don't need to know that.  
  
"Keep the door open!" Finn calls after him, remembering Burt's rule. If he has to follow it with Rachel then Kurt has to follow it with Blaine.  
  
"Yeah, yeah." Kurt waves Finn off and continues toward his room.  
  
"So, think they've done it yet?" Puck asks, leaning on the island again.  
  
"That's my brother, dude, I don't even want to know." Finn shudders. "Halo?"  
  
Puck grins. "Of course. Puckasaurus is gonna hand you your ass again, as always."  
  
"Prove it." Finn's face split in a grin and they headed up to the family room, forgetting all about the soy milk incident.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Rachel gently pushed at Finn's chest, making him move back even though he wanted to keep making out. "I told Carole I'd make dinner for everyone." She's sad to stop making out too, but she's been hearing Finn's stomach rumble for the last fifteen minutes and it's pretty distracting.  
  
"What are you making?" Finn's trying to figure out if he needs to snack while she's cooking or not. Sometimes Rachel's vegan food doesn't taste too weird, but other times it's just way too much.  
  
"Soy cheese veggie lasagna. Blaine gave me the recipe." She smiles brightly and sits up, righting her shirt and patting down her skirt before sliding off the bed. "I'll be making something for you and Burt with meat in it, but Kurt, Carole, Blaine and I will be having the lasagna." She's a good girlfriend, she's not going to force her veganism on Finn.  
  
"You're awesome." He kisses her cheek and walks with her to the kitchen.  
  
Kurt's pouring a glass of Silk and passing the cup to Blaine as they enter the kitchen. He puts the container back and snags his glass of Diet Coke - because he indulges once in a while, dammit, give him his caffeine. "Rachel! Carole says you're making dinner?"  
  
"Need any help?" Blaine asks, taking a gulp of his soy milk happily. He loves the flavor, and he's really glad that Kurt keeps some in the Hudson-Hummel house.  
  
"I think I've got it. Though... Do you ever have a problem with how the soy cheese melts?" She's bustling around the kitchen, pulling out all of the things she needed.  
  
Blaine nods. "Sometimes. It takes a little higher temperature, most of the time. If you're using my recipe it should all melt when it's in the oven." He takes another drink of his Silk. He doesn't even think about what he's saying, just assumes that Finn knows because everyone else in the kitchen knows.  
  
"Your recipe?" Finn looks at Blaine. Since when does Blaine eat soy stuff?  
  
"Oh, yeah." Blaine blushes a little and looks at Kurt. He hates talking about it.  
  
"Blaine found it and passed it along to me." Rachel can tell that Blaine doesn't want to talk about it. "Do you want to cut the zucchini?" She looks between Kurt and Blaine, letting either one of the them take the offer.  
  
Kurt steps forward and grabs what he needs to help. He motions for Blaine to stay seated - he'd had a lactose issue earlier in the day - and starts cutting the vegetables as Rachel gets the pasta prepared.  
  
Blaine smiles and continues drinking his milk, and Finn spends the rest of the evening wondering why Blaine was drinking Kurt's soy milk and why Blaine was giving vegan recipes to his girlfriend before getting thoroughly distracted with awesome meatballs.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It's a few incidents later that Finn finally asks what's up.  
  
Carole didn't think that Blaine was coming over for dinner, so she made something regular for the family - four meat pizza with stuffed crust and extra real cheese for Burt and Finn and a pepperoni pizza for her and Kurt to share.  
  
Blaine doesn't say anything, just takes a piece of the four meat because it looks delicious. He doesn't want to make waves, even though Carole is always nice and accommodating, and Kurt's distracted enough that he doesn't notice either. That might be because Blaine is rubbing their ankles together under the table with a hand high on Kurt's thigh.  
  
He knows while eating the pizza that he's going to get sick. He can tell that it's real cheese. But it doesn't stop him. He laughs and jokes with the Hudmels and loves the atmosphere because he never has this at home. His father frowns whenever he sees Blaine's carton of Silk in the fridge, but that never happens here.  
  
They move to the living room to watch some comedy thing - Blaine drags Kurt because he wants to see it and Kurt thinks it's funny even though he tries not to show that he does - and it's about halfway done when Blaine feels his stomach start cramping. He tries to keep the pain from showing on his face, biting the inside of his cheek and curling a little more intensely into the arm of the couch.  
  
Blaine knew when he took the piece of pizza that this wasn't going to end well. At least he's mostly outgrown throwing up every time he's had an excess of dairy, so that's good.  
  
Finn actually notices first, during a commercial break when they're taking about what they'd seen so far. "Dude, Blaine, are you okay?" He even sounds concerned.  
  
Kurt looks at his boyfriend, takes in the way he's slightly sweaty and curled in on himself more than normal. "Blaine?" He touches Blaine's arm.  
  
"I'm fine, it's all good." He bites his lip, hard, as another wave of cramps hits.  
  
"Oh! You had some of the pizza. I wasn't even thinking." Carole is out of her seat in an instant, standing next to Blaine and rubbing his shoulder, though it won't help and she knows it.  
  
Blaine shakes his head. "No big deal, I knew it would happen." The cramps pass and he gulps in a breath. "Just wanted..."  
  
"If you say 'to be normal,' I will punch you, Blaine Anderson." Kurt's face is drawn tight with worry. He hates seeing Blaine ill.  
  
Burt pauses the TV as the show comes back on. "Kid, you need to lay down?"  
  
Finn's confused. "What's wrong with Blaine?" He has no clue what's going on, even though everyone else seems to know.  
  
"Blaine's lactose intolerant, hon, and he just had extremely cheesy pizza." Carol says it calmly as she helps Blaine up. "I've got a heating pad in the closet; you can go up to Kurt's room and lay down with it until the cramps pass, okay?"  
  
Blaine nods as he nearly doubles over. "I'm sorry for interrupting the night. We were having fun." He's gritting his teeth and usually it isn't this bad - but he had eaten two pieces of the pizza, stuffed crust and all, and that was far more than his body was used to nowadays.  
  
"There's nothing for you to apologize for. I didn't think." Carole nudges Blaine. "Kurt, you wanna get the heating pad for him and take him upstairs?"  
  
"Thanks, Carole." Kurt kisses her cheek and takes over steering Blaine out of the living room.  
  
"Lactose intolerant?" Finn's still confused but quickly putting pieces together in his head. Kurt's sudden need to have soy milk in the house, Rachel getting a soy cheese lasagna recipe from Blaine, Blaine turning down ice cream all the time...  
  
"It means he can't have dairy, kiddo." Burt pats Finn's shoulder. "And he doesn't want a lot of people to know, so don't go spreadin' it around, okay?"  
  
Finn nods slowly. "Yeah. Yeah, okay." Now he feels bad and he can't quite explain why. Maybe because ice cream is awesome and it's sad that Blaine can't have it. "Is he gonna get sick?" Finn vaguely remembers instances of Blaine pushing away from the table to hurry to the bathroom, but he was usually so occupied with his own food that he didn't care.  
  
"Maybe. Seems like it's just cramps this time." Carole shrugs and sits back down next to Burt. "Record the show for the boys? I doubt they'll be coming down for a while."  
  
Burt nods and pushes the button on the remote. "Don't worry about it Finn - Blaine's a tough kid and this isn't a new thing for him."  
  
If Blaine could have heard Burt's casual shrugging off of his problem, he would have sobbed in relief because the Hudmels were so very accepting of him.


End file.
